This is a post about all the important questions you need to ask your potential au pair host family.
So you’ve decided to become an au pair. To be honest, it’s not that hard, especially if you’re coming to Europe (the US has more requirements). However, one mistake many people make is settling for the first family that comes along without giving it much thought. It’s important to have an open mind to a new experience! However, it’s equally important for you to be informed. Moving abroad, especially at such a young age is not easy. So many things change very quickly! You might not yet speak the local language so well, you have to learn how your new country works, new job, new home that’s not quite yours. It’s a lot to assimilate and adapt. Although there’s a lot of uncertainty, you can prepare yourself as best you can.
It’s really important to know where you’re going. Not just geographically but knowing who you’re going to live with. What are they like, what do they do, what are their rules? It’ll be a lot easier to adapt when you have an idea of what to expect. And don’t forget, you’ve got a choice too. You don’t have to sit there waiting for the host family who will pick you. If you’re not feeling them, you don’t have to say yes to the match!
So, what should you know about your future host family? Here’s a list of questions you need to ask during your interview process:
Questions About the Kids and the Job
Asking about the kids is essential! After all, your job will be to look after them. So it’s important to find out a bit about their routine, their personalities, likes and dislikes, eating habits, etc.
- What’s the kids’ routine like? Do they go to school? Do they have any extracurricular activities? What happens during school holidays?
- What do the kids like to do/play with? Are they allowed TV/screens?
- What do the kids eat normally? Do they have any allergies? Do they like trying different foods or are they quite particular?
- What are their personalities like?
- What do you do when the kids do something they shouldn’t? If I tell them “no” or set any kind of limits (previously agreed with the parents), will you back me up?
- Do they have any health concerns I should know about?
- What do you expect from your au pair?
- Does the au pair have a set routine or does it change regularly?
- Is the au pair responsible for any housework?
Questions About the Family
Another important point is to find out about family dynamics to see how you’ll fit in. Personally, I don’t think you need to find a family that’s just like you, likes the same things as you. In Germany, for example, my host family was super outdoorsy, the opposite of what I used to be! So not only I discovered my love for nature but also reaped all the benefits from spending time outside, even if on just a light walk or reading on the grass enjoying some sunshine.
Additionally, speak to everyone! If the family consists of mom and dad, two dads, two moms, single parent… chat to everyone to get to know them all at least a little bit. After all, you’ll LIVE with all of them! Imagine if you chat to half the family, have a great time, really hit it off, but when you get to their house the other half is the worst?!
- What are their hobbies?
- What do they like to do on the weekends?
- Do they travel much? If so, do they take the au pair too? If so, would she be working? Will she have her own room?
- Do they have friends and family over often?
- What are their eating habits? Does the au pair eat with the family?
- Is the au pair allowed to add things to the shopping list?
- Do they have any pets? If so, who looks after them?
- Do you have a weekly/daily cleaner?
- Can I see photos of the au pair room? Is the bathroom shared or does the au pair have her own?
- Have you had other au pairs? What were the kids like with her? Would you mind putting me in touch with her so I can asks her more about the day to day?
Questions About the Location
Nowadays we can obviously find out so much about a place online but some things are probably easier to find out from the family. A lot of people have location as a non-negotiable. For instance, au pairs wanting to go to France might want to go to Paris only. But, personally (and according to many other ex-au pairs I’ve chatted to), I feel like finding the right family ranks higher on the list of priorities. However, it doesn’t mean you should go to just any old place. After all, it’s important you feel safe, you can get around and have a life outside of working hours.
- Are there things to do in your town or nearby? (cinema, gym, clubs, bars, cafes…although this is one you can check on Google)
- Is the language course nearby/easy to get to?
- Is public transport available? Do you provide a travel card? (if they don’t, you should definitely negotiate it. Au pairs in Europe make so little money! Having a travel card paid for by the family makes a huge difference!)
- Is it safe to get around by myself? Both during the day and at night
- Do you pay for the language course? (some countries require the host family to cover it, others don’t. If that’s the case, it’s another thing you can try to negotiate)
- Are there other au pairs in the area? Or does the family know other young adults around to introduce?
Questions About Your Free Time
Last but not least, your free time! After all, no one wants to be an au pair JUST to spend all their time with kids. You should enjoy your year abroad!
- What’s the work schedule like? Is it fixed or flexible? (flexibility should work both ways)
- Is there a problem with the au pair sleeping over at a friend’s / travelling in her spare time? (it shouldn’t be but double check to be safe. If it is a problem, I wouldn’t recommend matching with that family)
- If the family travels and the au pair stays home, is that taken out of her holidays? (that should be previously agreed between both parties with appropriate advance notice)
- Do you expect your au pair to spend her free time with you?
- Alternatively, is it a problem if she does want to spend time with the host family?
- Is the au pair allowed to have visitors over? For instance, have a friend over for the weekend
- Is there a car available for the au pair? If so, is it always available or only at certain times? Is she allowed to travel elsewhere with it or only drive it in the area?
- Is there a curfew for the au pair? (another one I wouldn’t recommend agreeing to)
I might do a part 2 of this. There are SO many other things you can ask! The main thing is that you know you CAN ask questions and if a host family is funny about it, it’s probably a red flag.
There’s no perfect family, perfect place, perfect au pair. But with good communication, everyone can have a good time!
Now, before you start interviews, have you made a list of non-negotiables? I’d love to hear what you’re looking for from your au pair year and what you won’t go for. Feel free to drop it in the comments below!
This was a post about questions you need to ask your future au pair host family.